This quote is worthy as a mantra. When you notice others taking from you more than they are giving, think about this quote and set appropriate boundaries. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
When people pleasing, you are unknowingly putting the needs, thoughts, and opinions of others before your own. This can be because you want to be liked, you were taught to just grin and bare it, or just good old-fashioned fear. Fear of being fired, losing a friend, offending someone, the list goes on and on.
I have a client who is an executive assistant. She is loved by all in her office because she is always willing to lend a hand. While her helpful nature doesn’t interfere with her own work by much, she finds herself burnt out and unfulfilled. When this came up in one of our sessions, she really believed that it was her job to be this helpful to everyone.
I reminded her that others will not think twice about any opportunity to make their lives easier. Some will show appreciation, which is great but more often than not, they will just take advantage of your time. Having the hard conversation and setting boundaries is what will save you and educate others about how to treat you, especially in a professional environment. But remember, boundaries are needed in our personal life too.
So, when setting boundaries, consider using the ACT method. Acknowledge what is being asked of you, communicate what you CAN do, but not at the expense of your own work or time, and take action.